1 month!

Colton and Callan,

You both are 1 month young :) Its amazing how fast and slow time went by while in the Nicu.  Colton you came home on August 2nd and Callan, you came home on August 9th SO for your 1 month birthday we visited the nicu and took pictures of you two together.

At 1 month you guys were an adjusted age of 36 weeks and 5 days so you do a lot of sleeping, eating, pooping and peeing, which is right on track for you guys :) You both have gone through more in your short month than many people go through in a lifetime.  You've survived being born 8 weeks early, several needle sticks, and several tubes into your stomachs.  You guys are starting to be a little bit more awake and will stay in a quiet alert state for a little while after you eat.  It's so fun to see your eyes open! Colton, we got to take you home before your 1 month birthday and it was great BUT I think you missed your brother because you were quite fussy the first night.  Colton, you weigh about 4 lbs 15 oz and Callan, about 4 lbs 6 oz! You both are also about 18 inches long. Keep growing boys! Can't wait to see the changes you make this month! Love you!

Callan

Colton

Daddy helping get your heads strait

Mama

NICU updates

I've been wanting to do short updates of your days in the nicu, each little thing feels like a big milestone in there.

Before today (7/17/12)- You both started on a high flow nasal cannula then Colton went to a CPAP machine because he was so exhausted after the nurses and doctors tried to insert a picc line then he went back down to the high flow nasal cannula.  They also tried and failed to insert a picc line on you Callan.  You both also had iv's in you for a while so you could get extra nutrition they called "cheeseburgers and fries." Both of you are breathing room air now and have your high flow nasal cannulas at 2. Also, Mom, Dad, and Grandma have gotten to hold you so far.
 
7/17/12-Both of your jaundice lights were turned off today! HOORAY! hopefully they stay off. Your high flow nasal cannula was turned down to 1.5! Soon you will be on a regular flow nasal cannula! Callan you also upped your feeds to 30 ml and Colton you are taking 33 ml :)
I also got to change both of your diapers for the first time.  You both pooped, thanks, it was gross (but I'm glad you did!) LOVE YOU.

7/18/12-You both are now on a regular flow cannula! YAY! And Callan drank 7 ml from a bottle today! And Colton rooted around on my chest while I was holding him! Way to grow boys!

7/19/12-You both drank from a bottle today! Colton 7 ml and Callan 8 ml! Colton, you also tried to breastfeed! It was awesome! You did so well, much better than expected.  Callan, you were too tired to try because you had your bottle the feeding before. It's crazy that drinking from a bottle or breast takes so much energy from you two and in probably just a couple months you guys will be pros! You're also on .4 for your regular flow cannula and once its down to .1, you won't need it anymore!! Hooray!

7/20/12-Babies!! Today is a big day! You are officially off of oxygen! No more nasal cannulas for you! It is so nice to see your sweet faces! You also are at 27 degrees celsius in your isolettes which is room temp SO your basically regulating your own body temperatures! Way to grow boys! OH and Callan, they upped your feeds to 32 ml :)

7/21/12-You both are officially 2 weeks old today! We got some great news today as well, essentially all you boys need to do is learn to eat and you can come home! Doctors say maybe a couple more weeks! :)

7/29/12-Colton, your feeding tube is officially out! hooray! And Callan you are SO close! You also ate 61 mls at one feeding today! That is just NUTS! You usually only eat about 36!

7/30/12-Callan your feeding tube is officially out now too! Yay!! AND you both are out in the open! They opened the tops of your isolettes :) So babies! All you need to do before Mommy and Daddy can take you home is continue to gain weight while feeding on demand. Grow babies grow! We can't wait to have you home!!

7/31/12-The doctors told me today that you Colton might be coming home Thursday if all goes well! That's amazing! Callan, you had some "bradys" last night.  It's where your heart rate goes too low.  You haven't had those since you were a couple days old but they put you in a swing last night that seemed to not do too well for you.  Hopefully you won't have anymore and you'll get to come home soon :)

We got so busy with you guys getting close to come home that I didn't update on the days but Colton, you came home that Thursday and Callan you came home the Thursday after because you had another little scare with the bradys! You are both doing so well at home now though!! :)

Welcome to the world!

Dear Colton and Callan,
Welcome to the world sweet boys! Mommy was in the hospital for 5 days resting and trying to keep you in my belly as long as possible before the doctors decided it was best for you to be born. The doctors told me you needed to be born around noon on Saturday July 7, 2012 and I called Daddy to come to the hospital and he hurried over and you, Colton were born at 4:05 pm weighing 3 lbs 14 oz and you, Callan were born at 4:06 pm at 3 lbs 5 oz. You both came out crying and they showed you to me really quickly and took you away to clean you up. Then Daddy and a nurse came out holding you both and I got to see your sweet faces, give you kisses and tell you I love you before Daddy and the nurse took you both to the nicu. Later Daddy took Michael to meet you guys.  He kept saying "Whats that?!" and pointing and touching your isolettes.  He loves you guys already. That night I was able to be wheeled down to see you both. I was able to get up briefly to touch you and tell you again how much I love you both.

Mommy right before you both were born

Daddy in his scrubs ready for you to be born!

Colton right after you were born

Callan right after you were born

my boys together :)

Michael meeting Callan

Mommy meeting Colton

Mommy meeting Callan

Dear Michael

Oh, Michael.  My little monkey.  Monday, Daddy and I went to the dr's office for an appointment and Mommy ended up having to stay what we thought was going to be a few hours, that turned into a day, that turned into "until the twins are born." This has been the hardest week of my life by far and the hardest part has been being away from you and daddy.  I miss you so much but I get to see pictures of you and your daddy brings you to visit as often as he can and most of all I know you are having fun playing with your Daddy, uncles, and your grammy.  They have been taking such good care of you! Having this experience has made me so glad you are so young, which I never realized was a great thing before, but you don't realize much is going on and you will probably never even remember that mama wasn't  around for a while. All of this has just made me realize Heavenly Father's planning and timing.  It's not up to us what happens, its only up to us how we handle it and I'm doing my best to be strong.  We are so blessed Michael, remember that.  You have so many people who love you and care for you and were willing to take care of and play with you when they found out Mommy would not be able to for a little while.  I can't wait to be home with you and snuggle and love on you.  It makes my day when daddy strolls you into the room and you see me and smile! The other day the nurse came in to take my blood pressure while you were here and it was the lowest its been since I've been admitted, even though you like to jump around and play, just being with you makes me feel so much better!  Soon we'll be playing and this will all seem so long ago.  I love you forever, Michaelbug!

Love,
Mama

Unexpected

Dear babies,

I am sitting here in a hospital bed weeks before you two should make your debut.  Apparently, mommy's body is having a hard time carrying twins and in order to keep you two safe and mommy safe we have to stay in the hospital until you guys can be born.  I am 32 weeks and 1 day pregnant and we're hoping to make it until 34 or 35 weeks with you two on the inside! SO mommy has been taking time resting, reading, watching tv and movies and trying to learn how to crochet! Hopefully by the time you guys arrive I will have made something for you :)

I feel like I have gotten to know you two a lot better while I'm here.  I'm pretty sure I know which one of you is Colton and which one of you is Callan BUT we're still going to make that final decision when we see your precious faces.  You guys are so funny moving around and kicking the nurses and techs when they try to find your heart beats.  A lot of times one of you will cooperate and the other will try to swim away.  :)  I'm sorry mommy's body is cooperating and that you guys will most likely have to come earlier than we'd hoped.  We are still hoping and praying that you guys will make it far enough along to be able to breathe and eat well and not have to spend time in the NICU.  Once you guys are out, I just want to hold and snuggle you and not let you out of my sight! I love you little boys and I hope you get to cook for a while longer!

Love,
Mama

Dear Babies

Yesterday we had an ultrasound little babies! You are not so little in there anymore, to little to come out, but you definitely feel huge in mommy's belly! Baby A was 3 lbs 2 oz and Baby B was 3 lbs 1 oz.  I'm so glad you are growing so well! We're hoping you, baby A, will be in a head down position, you've decided to be breech and have wrapped yourself around my whole belly and your brother! You crazy boy! I don't know how things will really be but I'm thinking you, Baby B are going to more mellow than your brother.  You let him do all kinds of crazy things BUT you get your kicks in too ;)

Michael you are kissing and patting mommy's belly so much now! You don't (or won't) say baby but you LOVE to pull up my shirt and see my belly.  Its adorable! I just put you down to sleep for the night and couldn't help but think how much I love our bedtime routine.  I know things will change later and I won't get to hold you before bed forever, but I do love it now.  We (usually Daddy) read your scripture book and another story, usually Goodnight, Moon but Daddy says you get sick of it so it varies sometimes! Then I come in after story time, we say family prayer, and I hold you and sing "You are my sunshine."  I always lose my breath because my lungs don't have any room right now, but you don't care :) Thanks for listening and snuggling with me.  It's one of the best parts of my day! I'm thinking when your brothers are old enough to participate we'll all pile on mommy and daddy's bed or the big bean bag and read stories together.

I love you boys so much! Keep cookin twinkies, mama's in this for the long haul! And I'm so glad I get to hold you every day Michael, I hear you in your room making your "sleep sounds" now.  You make the funniest sounds right before you drift off.  You are one nutty kiddo ;)

Love
Mama

Oh, Michael

Dear Michael,

I had to write you a short letter today because I always want to remember it.  There's nothing really special or important about today, we're staying at home playing, but you my child are just so funny and sweet.  You are constantly amazing me with the things you are learning, saying, and doing.  Your personality shines so brightly. 

As you'll find out someday, once you become a parent you never get to go to the bathroom alone. We just recently secured the cabinets under the sinks so you are having to find other things to entertain you while you hang out in the bathroom while Mommy goes potty. Today, you went inbetween the shower curtain and the tub.  It was hilarious.  You were laughing and patting me through the curtain.  You thought it was the best thing ever.  After you get out you come over to me and pat my belly.  I tell you thats my belly button and the babies are in my belly and you laugh, pat my belly, and then give it a kiss. It was adorable. You have not kissed my belly before and I don't think we've told you to, either. It just melted my heart.  I know you're going to love your baby brothers and I hope the transition of bringing them into our lives will not be too hard. You are an amazing and funny little boy.  There is never a dull day with you around. (as I type this you are rolling around on the ground with some silky fabric) I love you forever, monkey!

Love,
Mama

My BOYS!

Well dearest babies,

I just did Michael's blogpost and I'm thinking I'll make this into one blog eventually of just letters to my sweet children.  I'm thinking when you twinsies are born, thats what I'll do.  I am now 19 weeks and 5 days pregnant with you..boys! Yes, that's right you are boys.  I'm sure you know that already but mommy, daddy, and Michael just found out about a week and a half ago.  We were so surprised!! Mommy was convinced that one of you was a girl! I won't say which because I don't want anyone to make fun later but I was so sure.  Apparently, not! Daddy thought it was great we were having boys and says he pretty much knew.  He always said to me "I just know at least one is a boy." :) Well you both are! Michaelbug got to come along for the ultrasound and just wanted to sit on mommy, didn't you? When the tech told us the 2nd baby was a boy too I leaned over and said to you, Michael, Can you believe that?! You're going to have 2 little brothers.  You smirked at me, you know it all! You knew all along didn't you? I think you did! We go back in another couple weeks to make sure all of your little twin parts are working right and we'll get to see you again! Love you little boys!

After we found out we were growing two more boys we went straight to shopping! We got some of the cutest little outfits! Matching onesies for all 3 of you! It's going to be adorable but don't worry when you're old enough, you can pick your own clothes and you won't have to match all of the time ;) We told all of the family and everyone was excited!! Michael, you are practicing being such a big boy already! It makes me so proud and a little sad sometimes that you've grown up so fast!  You are walking all over and talking non stop.  Sometimes I'll pat my belly and say "where are the babies?" And you'll either pat my belly too or pat yours.  Then I tickle you and ask you if you have babies in your belly. You love it, but no, son, there are no babies in your belly :)

We're brainstorming about how to decorate your room little twinsies! We're thinking dinosaurs! Michael is probably going to move in with you guys when you're around a year old and then you guys will have a complete prehistoric jungle! Animals and dinos! I think you three will love it!  I really hope you all become the best of friends. (yes, I know you'll fight. What friends don't?) But I hope you have a bond that lasts forever and that you guys will always be able to be there for each other because times are getting tough here in this world and we need strong, righteous men that I know you can all become.

Love you forever,
Mama

Seeing you

Dear Babies,

Yesterday i had my first sonogram.  I laid on the table and could barely see the screen.  As soon as my doctor looked at the screen she said "Are you ready for this?" I started telling her how "yeah, my babies will be close in age and I don't know if we're ready but..." then she said "It's twins, guys!"

I said "no its not." and would not look at the screen.  There was just no way there could be TWO babies.  That doesn't happen... Josh smiled and got up to look closer and then said "I Told you!!" And he had.  Not even a week before the ultrasound he had said "well it could be twins."  I half cried and said "I know, I've been thinking that, but its not!"

I finally looked at the screen and there were definitely two dark circles with two light little beans inside them.

At that moment, and even at this moment I have no idea what I'm feeling.  It's a mixture of emotions.  I love my babies but I also love my other baby and I wonder how this will affect him.  Life will change drastically.  I'm thinking of financial changes, spacial changes, and super no sleep changes.  I'm thinking of giving birth to 2 babies instead of 1.  I'm thinking of having babies that could potentially be born very small, not be able to come home with me in the beginning, and maybe have other issues that I don't want to even learn about.  I'm thinking of how to be prepared, how to be healthy, how to care for and support 2 tiny babies and my big guy. 

But I am grateful that I have 2 healthy babies growing inside me.  I am grateful to have the chance to be a mother again...and again. I am grateful that Michael is the baby he is, so easy going and good natured.  And I am grateful to have family that I know will support me.  Sometimes (most of the time) we don't know why we are given the blessings that we receive, and this is definitely one of those times, but I am grateful that my heavenly father is entrusting Josh and I with two more precious babies to care for and love and I know that if he didn't know we could handle it and be the best parents for these two spirits we would not have you babies.  I love you babies.  Be safe in there.  Mommy and Daddy cannot wait to meet you.  And we cannot wait for you, Michael, to meet your baby siblings either.  Our life is going to change forever, but I know we will be so happy!

Love,
Mommy

about 7 weeks

about 9 weeks

Best Brother Ever!